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(5) Indiana vs (12) Chattanooga - 3/17 7:10EST on CBS (Discussion)


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Posted

attachicon.gifImageUploadedByBtownBanners1458223443.473152.jpgattachicon.gifImageUploadedByBtownBanners1458223455.010335.jpg

[Atticus Crean's opening statement)

"Ladies and gentlemen of the court, I'm just a simple, backwoods basketball coach and don't have any of those fancy "credentials" or "championships" that some of those fancy-pants, big name coaches have. What I do have is an oddly tinted tan, a diet-Pepsi can filled with rum, and a senior point guard named after a fictional, cartoon bear. Now that might not sound like much and, in truth, I've failed under better circumstances, but as God and RMK as my witness (even if he doesn't return my calls) we will not be defeated by some pissant school named after a worthless bird. Seriously, when we got our draw I turned to Nick Zeisloft (he's a grad student after all) and asked him "what the hell is a Moc?" When we couldn't figure it out we sent Timmy (Priller) to the library to do some research because damnit if the kid is going to be on scholarship he might as well finally contribute in some way. Long story short, Tommy [sic] comes back and let's me know it's short for "Mockingbirds." Seriously. Mockingbirds. I figured it was some obscure Indian [sic] tribe or like a water moccasin or something fearsome like that. But no. It's a bird. A really, really weak bird. I'd be more afraid if it was the damn shoe....oh, I'm sorry, am I rambling? I'll wrap it up then. Anyways, if we don't win this game you might as well fire me, but please don't.

Brian! this is your best work ever!

Posted

attachicon.gifImageUploadedByBtownBanners1458223443.473152.jpgattachicon.gifImageUploadedByBtownBanners1458223455.010335.jpg

[Atticus Crean's opening statement)

"Ladies and gentlemen of the court, I'm just a simple, backwoods basketball coach and don't have any of those fancy "credentials" or "championships" that some of those fancy-pants, big name coaches have. What I do have is an oddly tinted tan, a diet-Pepsi can filled with rum, and a senior point guard named after a fictional, cartoon bear. Now that might not sound like much and, in truth, I've failed under better circumstances, but as God and RMK as my witness (even if he doesn't return my calls) we will not be defeated by some pissant school named after a worthless bird. Seriously, when we got our draw I turned to Nick Zeisloft (he's a grad student after all) and asked him "what the hell is a Moc?" When we couldn't figure it out we sent Timmy (Priller) to the library to do some research because damnit if the kid is going to be on scholarship he might as well finally contribute in some way. Long story short, Tommy [sic] comes back and let's me know it's short for "Mockingbirds." Seriously. Mockingbirds. I figured it was some obscure Indian [sic] tribe or like a water moccasin or something fearsome like that. But no. It's a bird. A really, really weak bird. I'd be more afraid if it was the damn shoe....oh, I'm sorry, am I rambling? I'll wrap it up then. Anyways, if we don't win this game you might as well fire me, but please don't.

very impressive!

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