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JaybobHoosier

Prayer Thread

By JaybobHoosier, in Off Topic Forum

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323SGrant    1,176

323SGrant
Posted
8 hours ago, pappy1865 said:

Been on my "summer break" from all sports forums.

1st, prayers for all whom have asked.

2nd, and this going to be long, My wife and I have been struggling. Bad. She's not been right since her father passed away 3-1/2 years ago, and we've not been right since then, and, it's gotten worse since I moved back home from travelling the country for work. It all came to a head on the 4th of July. We had a disagreement in Menard's, and on the car ride home, I told her it sounded as if she wanted me to move out. She basically said, yes, that was where this was headed. We've talked about counseling in the past, but never followed through, which is my fault, as I was scared to face my demons.

My work has helped me behind the scenes to find a therapist here that falls under our insurance, and I've been 3 times already.  It's helped me.

She told me the classic "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" line on the 4th, and she said there is no way I can win her love back. Challenge accepted. It begins with me fixing me, then working on us. Why she's never gone to talk to anyone after her father's passing is beyond me, but I'm hoping by taking the first step, we can find that spark again. She's been to a therapist once, and it going for her 2nd time this week. Hopefully it helps her work on her issues.

I don't want our daughter to come from a broken home. We've struggled to reconnect once I moved home from being on the road for work.  I told her let's go talk to someone, and she said we should have done it a long time ago. I was honest and told her I was scared. Scared to face my demons head on. I'm still scared, but, she's my soul mate. Her and my daughter are my whole reason for living. For going to work everyday. Before anyone gets concerned, no, I'm not suicidal. Whether we fix this, I need to be here for my daughter. I promised her I would never leave her, and I intend to keep that promise.

Please, if you are the praying type, say a prayer that we can work this out. I've lost my way. In life, my faith, all of it. I'm shaking as I type this. Folks around me at work are stepping up to help me with a few major construction estimates that I need to get done. 

We've had some good days, mixed in with a few bad ones, but baby steps is where I'm at right now. Some days, thing seem "normal", except for me telling her I love her, and her saying "I know." She said she hopes we can fix this, and she can find that feeling for me again.My birthday was the 18th, and she spent quite a bit of money on a new bottle of cologne. We are still planning on taking our Disney trip after Thanksgiving, so we'll see how that goes. 

There are mixed signals/emotions coming from her, so like I said. I'm taking baby steps, and one day at a time until we can find some common footing again.

Thanks Hoosier Family, with all of my heart.
 

Pappy

 

 

Praying for you and your family.

pappy1865, ALASKA HOOSIER, HoosierAloha and 2 others reacted to this

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Hoosierfan2017    21,903

Hoosierfan2017
Posted
4 hours ago, rebelhoosier848891 said:

Prayers....


Sent from my iPhone using BtownBanners

Thank you. It ended up being an armed robbery. Still not good, but better than what I thought when they were first reporting on the situation. 

IUsafety, HoosierAloha and rebelhoosier848891 reacted to this

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pappy1865    2,212

pappy1865
Posted

Made a few general comments in a few of the game threads, so I figured I'd update here.

 

I finally agreed to her demand for the divorce. She said if we ever wanted to reconcile, I had to give her this so she could "heal and find herself." Fine. I filed. She's since started seeing someone from about the 1st of November. I know he wasn't in the picture before the divorce talk, as I know when they were introduced.  She says it "just sort of happened." Says she's still not happy. She's still in pain, but, if you look at her Facebook page, she's doing perfectly fine. Posts way more than she did when we were together. 

 

I've had folks I've not talked to in years reach out to me to give me info on the dude. He's divorced.  3 times. Likes to sleep with married women. Enjoys the thrill of it. She says that if this thing crashes and burns, we then might try counseling. Here's to hoping.

 

He's already spent the night at her apartment. With our 5-1/2 year old there, but he "slept on the couch." Which she later admitted after the little one went to bed, this guy left the couch. I'm beside myself. I asked her why the hell would she do that? How do I know that he didn't get up in the middle of the night and took pictures of our daughter? She said he's not that type of person. She's known me 19 years and doesn't know everything about me. Shoot, look at Jared from Subway. No one suspected that either. 

 

I have friends telling me to move on. Forget her. Find someone new to make her jealous.  I can't. In a few weeks, it will be 19 years since our 1st date. I can't just throw that away. What she is doing disgusts me, but I still love her.  I can't control how my heart feels, but I also know I can't control hers.

 

The worst is Claira. She is great at school. Great at gymnastics, but, when she stays with me if I pick her up from after-school care or gymnastics, she's great. If Brit drops her off, she screams. Throws fits. Doesn't want to stay with me. When she stays with my wife, she acts out, and has been telling my wife she hates her, since she "doesn't love daddy anymore and you moved out on us." My heart is breaking.

 

I'm in a major depression. I can't even seem to enjoy sports. IU or ISU basketball? Love going to games but just haven't had the desire. 

 

Again, if you're the praying type, keep saying them for me. I'm just trying to put one foot in front of the other, but even that is a struggle. 

 

Pappy

 

 

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HoosierAloha    30,077

HoosierAloha
Posted

Prayers going up Pappy!  I have family going through something similar and it's never easy.  The kids are acting out the same way.  We don't give kids enough credit for "understanding" a situation like this.  My best advice, if I'm qualified to give any, is to find your "Pappy's happy place" and spend as much of your free time there.  Mine has always either been at the golf course or on a wave.  Keep your head held high and all decisions made based on what's best for your daughter! If you ever need someone to chat or yell at I'll listen. 

mamasa, ThompsonHoosier, pappy1865 and 1 other reacted to this

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pappy1865    2,212

pappy1865
Posted
Prayers going up Pappy!  I have family going through something similar and it's never easy.  The kids are acting out the same way.  We don't give kids enough credit for "understanding" a situation like this.  My best advice, if I'm qualified to give any, is to find your "Pappy's happy place" and spend as much of your free time there.  Mine has always either been at the golf course or on a wave.  Keep your head held high and all decisions made based on what's best for your daughter! If you ever need someone to chat or yell at I'll listen. 

Golf won't be happening. At least at the local course. He's the pro there. Ha!

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WayneFleekHoosier    48,690

WayneFleekHoosier
Posted

Prayers Pappy! I can't begin to fathom the emotions you are going through. My thoughts initially are to stay strong, stay active socially, and try to start to allow your heart to open up. God works in mysterious ways and something great is yet to come out of this, either with her or someone new.
Keep strong!




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southsidehoosier    5,064

southsidehoosier
Posted

Hey Pappy,

I went through a divorce 2+ years ago after a year of separation, living with my dad and stepmom and attempting to reconcile (while I gave her the house and everything she needed). I also had children (4 and 2 yo at that time) as well. I understand what you're feeling as my ex-wife began dating someone within a few weeks of the divorce decree. PM if you need to talk or vent. I started going to a counselor shortly after we separated (and continue to see her once every month) While my ex-wife and I never reconciled we are on extremely good terms (we're co-hosting my daughters 6th bday party this weekend). I give credit to the counseling for getting me through the tough times and my church as well. Praying for you. 

ALASKA HOOSIER, IUBBFan1970, IUsafety and 6 others reacted to this

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