Barrel Rick

my relationship with the fine people at Hormel is stronger than ever.. they weren’t paying me in dollars; just that sweet chili. and i need to watch my carbs.. i’m built like Roseanne Barr, Tom..

you’ve always been wise, Stu..

the Barrel happens to have an unordinary insight on this particular player.. my only advice is to listen to what Ricky tells ya.. Braylon has been drawing immense interest from Purdue, Northwestern, Kentucky, and most recently Juwan Howard and the Wolverines. he’s only a junior, but Rickwald can assure you that as of 9/18/23, he’s only really considering two of those programs, one being Indiana. i’ll update in due time, but for now i have to deficate.. - Barrel Rick, 2023 sponsored by Medicap Pharmacy, Luke Meredith, Jensen’s Pawn, and Riley Park Tire.

have no shame, Bulldog.. this kid’s jumper’s enough to make any grown man dance the night away.. - Ricky

never doubt the Barrel.

hey ya’ll.. for those of you who don’t know me, i am Barrel Rick; the most trustworthy insider in the history of Indiana University Men’s Basketball.. as a smaller number of you may know, i also happen to be the team masseuse here in Bloomington. during my 6 a.m. appointment with Coach Yasir Rosemond this morning, i was informed that we have extended an offer to Braylon Mullins, the 2025 guard out of Greenfield-Central High School. Mullins’ other current offers include Iowa, Notre Dame, and Virginia Tech among others. an unbelievably talented shooter, Mullins would make for great company alongside fellow incoming Hoosiers Gabe Cupps, Cooper Flagg, and Jordan Clarkson. as for the likelihood of his commitment, i can’t be so sure.. Yas explained to me that although these Division 1 offers are enticing, his heart and lifelong fan-ship belongs to the Nordic Mustangs of Colby College in Waterville, Maine, and that if they extend an offer, he may have no choice but to go D3. anyways, i’ve got to rub Kenya Hunter down in balsamic dressing at 3:15, but i wanted to update the BTB faithful on what’s to come for this program.. - Barrel Rick, 2023 p.s. Alaska Hoosier, you’ve still got my wife’s golf clubs in your cellar; return my calls or else.

he’s timid at the knee pits..

hey y’all, Ricky checkin’ in.. in light of the recent news regarding the two new additions to the conference, i would like to bring some Barumblings (rumblings received by the Barrel, the most trustworthy insider in the history of IUMBB) to my people here at BTB. i sat and talked with Coach Woodson last night after i finished my evening massage for Anthony Leal. we shared a brisket.. he relayed to me that not only will Oregon and Washington be joining us, but along with them will come two more universities.. The first being the Horned Ponies of Cal Poly Northeastern A&M. The second, is Duke. If you remember one thing, let it be that The Barrel doesn’t miss. - Ricky, 2023 sponsored by Hormel Chili, Big Woods Brewery, St. Peterschmidt Methodist Reptile Hospital, and Best Buy of Columbus, Indiana.

hey y’all, Ricky checkin’ in.. it’s been a moment since i’ve spoken.. each Hoosier Heartbreak brings me closer to chronic depression, and my inflamed bowels have returned after years of battle.. my @$$ is on fire. as for a Barrelupdate, i wanted to let my friends here at BTB know before it’s made public, but i have accepted a job as the lead masseuse for the men’s basketball program here at Indiana University. i’ve been learning the art of massage in the wooded hills of my Nashville home, and after a dinner my wife and i had recently with Coach Woodson, offered him a deep tissue squeeze.. he looked tense. after the rubbage, Mike explained to me that i have the hands of a Macedonian princess, and offered me a full-time position. i would like to thank StuHoo, who first introduced me to my new found love of massage, and Hovadipo for building my karate dojo turned massage parlor from the ground up. tonight, i strum mandolin atop my roof, and dream of better days for this program.. thank you all.. - Barrel Rick, 2023 sponsored by Hormel Chili, NAPA Auto Parts, County Materials Corporation, Applebees’s of Columbus, and my uncle DeAnthony.

bet my wife's breast implants on Kaleb Banks over 36.5. she's pissed, but Ricky don't give a damn.. suck my Ricky Balls, Boilers.

hey ya'll, Rickminton checkin' in.. looks like it's the Buckeyes tonight. every time they come to Bloomington, it reminds me of the night I accidentally got 37 buckeye candies stuck in my anus. it was 1980, and Mark Cuban stuffed em' in there during a Sigma-Chi rush event.. don't ask; it brings horrendous reminiscence. as for the Hoosiers tonight, Woodson told me at brunch this morning that we may see some light minutes from Xavier Johnson. this would be absolutely treacherous for our team, as he is absolutely horrid at the game of basketball. i have heard that Trayce may be on limited minutes due to taint strain, and Tamar may not play at all due to a non-Covid related STD. i did catch Miller Kopp walking into the practice facility this morning, where he told me and i quote, "these Buckeyes some b*tches, best believe dat!" opposite to usual Rickdiction, i have the Hoosiers taking this one in grand fashion tonight, 101-36.. Anthont Leal breaks the single-game scoring record with 72. - Barrel Rick, 2023, sponsored by Hormel Chili, Belle Tire, White Castle, and Greenfield Power & Light

did Ricky call it, or did Ricky call it? #DontDoubtDaBarrel

hey y'all.. as most of you know, I am Mike Woodson's brother in law, and widely considered among the fanbase to be the most trustworthy insider in the history of Indiana basketball. while I don't speak on it often, thru Mike; Tom Allen and I have become very close. this morning, Tom and I had brunch at the iHop here on College Mall, and I asked him to spill Ricky some Hormel Beans on the new quarterback that we're hearing so many Rickumblings about. "it's Tayven Jackson, Rickwald," he confessed to me with a devilish grin.. Tom also confirmed to me that Cam Camper unfortunately was just today, diagnosed with a swollen left testacle, and could be out for the year. prayers up, Cam. ice that thang. - Barrel Rick, 2023, sponsored by Hormel Chili, Belle Tire, and White Castle

Hey ya’ll, Ricky checkin’ in.. I wasn’t going to post for tonight’s game, because I’m in the building.. As some of you know, CJ Gunn is my grandson. His father Christopher is my son, and yes; JR got his game from Ricky.. Family matters aside, these Hoosiers are absolutely f*cked tonight. My sources tell me TJD is sitting out due to a left ball burst, and that he’s going to be court-side in a suit and tie this evening. I did get a chance to talk to Woody at breakfast earlier, where he told me that Trayce will have an icing-device located in his trousers, to ease the burn. Prayers to you, and both of yours Trayce. I texted CJ this morning to ask that he please score 64 points, and if he doesn’t do so, I’m going to take a big ol’ Ricky steamer in his Thanksgiving desserts tomorrow. That’s all BR can do for ya’ll. - Barrel Rick, 2022, sponsored by Hormel Chili