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Barrel Rick

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Barrel Rick last won the day on October 14 2021

Barrel Rick had the most liked content!

About Barrel Rick

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  1. Barrel Rick

    IUBB vs Little Rock - Wednesday, 11/23/22 @ 6:30 on BTN

    Hey ya’ll, Ricky checkin’ in.. I wasn’t going to post for tonight’s game, because I’m in the building.. As some of you know, CJ Gunn is my grandson. His father Christopher is my son, and yes; JR got his game from Ricky.. Family matters aside, these Hoosiers are absolutely f*cked tonight. My sources tell me TJD is sitting out due to a left ball burst, and that he’s going to be court-side in a suit and tie this evening. I did get a chance to talk to Woody at breakfast earlier, where he told me that Trayce will have an icing-device located in his trousers, to ease the burn. Prayers to you, and both of yours Trayce. I texted CJ this morning to ask that he please score 64 points, and if he doesn’t do so, I’m going to take a big ol’ Ricky steamer in his Thanksgiving desserts tomorrow. That’s all BR can do for ya’ll. - Barrel Rick, 2022, sponsored by Hormel Chili
  2. Barrel Rick

    IUBB vs Miami (OH) - Sunday, 11/20/22 @ 5:30 on BTN

    hey y'all.. Ricky checkin' in.. Before I verbally assassinate this basketball program, let me begin by thanking those of you for your thoughts and prayers.. My anus removal went great. After numerous conversations with my doctor, my wife, and Donald Trump, I decided to have my anus permanently taken out, in an attempt to defeat my bowel disease once and for all. Yes, I can still sh*t.. I am currently undergoing physical therapy that will make it almost second nature to release feces from my belly button. In other great news, I'm headed south this week, as I'll be visiting my dear friend StuHoo for Thanksgiving, and rumor has it, his wife makes a cobbler that will knock your balls off. As for this team? We suck @$$. I'll take those fake Floridians by 69. Go Hoosiers. - Barrel Rick, 2022. sponsored by Hormel Chili
  3. Barrel Rick

    IUBB at Xavier - Friday, 11/18/22 @ 6:00 on FS1

    Hey y'all, Ricky checkin' iin.. Xavier huh? The Musketeers? Musk? ... Musk??? You expect us to beat a team named after the world's richest man? I got Jason Kelce and the 'Teers taking this one in grand fashion.. Xavier - 95 IU - 4 I apologize for my recent criticism of this program, but the fact that this team is an absolute dumpster fire, coupled with the fact that I have had 3 emergency anal cleansings over the last 3 days is really grinding my Rick gears.. As most of you know, I have struggled with a bowel disease for many years. that causes my @$$ to leak like the Wisconsin Volleyball team's photo library. Thank you to all my friends and family for your constant support during this time. and thank you Hovadipo for the Peruvian sausage you sent my wife and I thru the mail. Tomorrow? We rot in hell. - Barrel Rick, 2022. sponsored by Hormel Chili
  4. Barrel Rick

    IUBB vs Morehead State - Monday, 11/07/22 @ 7:00 on B1G+

    Hello all, Ricky checkin’ in. After watching this absolute dumpster-fire of a team in their first outing of the year, I have to be honest, you know BR always is.. We suck @$$. It’s time to give up on any hope we had at a 5-win season, because that’s out the window. We play a Morehead State team, with perimeter weapons such as Shannon Sharpe & Kyle Rittenhouse, and Mike doesn’t have these guys stepping up? We’ve been doomed from the start.. My honest opinion after game 1? Abolish the ******* team. I talked to Mike this morning during our 24-Hour Fitness Zumba class, and he informed me that if we don’t win a national championship this year, he’s taking his knowledge of the game to the San Diego Western-Union Technical Institute for The Blind, Black & Lethargic. Can ya’ blame the guy? We’re f*cked. - Rick, 2022; sponsored by Hormel Chili
  5. Barrel Rick

    Prediction League (Game 27 - Maryland 2/24/22)

    hey ya'll, rickwald checkin' in.. just wanted to stop by and give my thoughts on the current state of Hoosier Hoops.. we suck shaft. if our performance recently has taught me one thing, it's that Mike Woodson has scoliosis. what does that have to do with our team? not sh*t. but there's not much else to talk about, and my wife is Mike's spinal doctor. as for the game on Thursday, ya' know how Ricky does it; i'm a realist.. we're f*cked. the Terrapins are a group of young Turtles who are ready for war, and as for our home squad? we've got Trayce Jackson-Davis, and Miller Kopp who shoots it like my aunt Greg.. at this point, our only hope is Nathan Childress. unfortunately, i'm.. i'm not kidding.. everyone else on this hardwood looks as if they've just returned to sentience from a 37 year coma. i hate this f*cking team. - Ricky, 2022
  6. hey y'all.. it's been a minute. just wanted to come on here and give my thoughts on tomorrow night's bout against those dirty bastards from up north.. let me start by saying, the Barrel will be in the building.. if ya' see a heavy-set man with Miller Lite's in each of his pockets; say hello.. as for the game; you know how Ricky does it.. i'm a realist. we're f*cked. jaden ivey? paolo banchero? jackson findley? this purdue team is stacked to the damn brim and then some.. if we cover the Rickspread (+83); i will be a man in utter astonishment.. as for those of you who know me, you know my relationship with Coach Woodson is tight-knit, and at our weekly brunch this morning he explained to me that we may be without Trayce Jackson-Davis tomorrow night.. now, i know that most of you are assuming that he's seen more trouble with his injury from last game than we assumed, but truthfully, he's suffered a new injury.. trayce tore his scrotum over the break.. to my understanding, he has had his sack on ice for virtually 48 hours straight, but he's still not at 100% according to team trainer Olivia DeJarnett.. "it works, but not well," she told me this evening.. put on the suit, Mikey.. for the love of God; we're gonna' need it.. - Ricky, 2022
  7. memphis, my man.. i’ve received many texts and calls over the last week asking for some inside information regarding Mike’s portal experience; and it’s been hard to contain the beans as i’ve known of his commitment for weeks. i sat down with him over some flapjacks earlier this week to discuss his decision, and this is what he had to say.. ”washington offered me strippers, Ricky; simple as that.” while most believe that the primary factor behind the result was ex-Hoosier OC Kalen DeBoer; it seems Mike has other priorities.. another key-point that Mike continually drove home throughout our discussion was his love for the Washington mascot; Harry the Husky.. ”that’s a cute a$$ dog, man.. i just want to snuggle him all night,” Penix admitted to me.. as for us Hoosier fans; i think this decision was definitely what’s best for us moving forward as the now-former Hoosier quarterback performed similar to the likes of Ryan Seacrest under center this season. best wishes to ya’ Mike; try not to suck.. - Ricky, 2021
  8. hey ya'll, 10 days.. 10 motherRicking days.. as most of you know, i've been snuggled up in my log home in the deep woods of Bloomington for the last 9 months; waiting impatiently for season tipoff.. with winter approaching us at cosmic speeds, the cold temperatures mean one thing.. Hoosiers Basketball.. now; for those who follow me on Myspace, you know that Morning Woodson and i are great friends. we golf together 4 times a week, we get iHop every Sunday, and our wives both got dummy rack.. keep this on the down town, but Mikey let me in on some inside information as we took the links this past Saturday.. Trayce Jackson-Davis has suffered a torn ham.. out for the season.. so, assuming you watch this team play; we're fecked. out of curiosity, Big Wood has been practicing Rob Phinisee at center.. now i know what you're thinking; why in the hell would he do such a thing? not many people know this, but Rob actually gained 235 pounds throughout the span of the off-season, and is now built like myself.. if ya' know Ricky, you should know that ain't a good look.. my wife makes me shower with my clothes on.. as for my game prediction, you know how Rick rolls.. i'm a realest, people.. Eastern Michigan takes this ballgame 107-13, with Johnny Jager using his 9th year eligibility to return to the floor, and score all 13 points. get ready, ya'll.. we're in for a long damn winter.. - Barrel Rick, 2021; sponsored by Hormel Chili
  9. hey y'all, this weekend; Bloomington makes history.. no.. i don't mean that the Hoosiers are coming out victorious over the #10 Spartans.. i mean the Barrel is gonna' be in house.. you heard that correctly, for the first time since 1987; Ricky steps foot on Memorial grounds. now, i know what you're thinking.. is Rickwald coming to help out the coaching staff? is he taking over for Nick Sheridan? no.. i'm not. while Tommy has been banging the hell out of my home phone asking me to do so, i don't have that kind of time on my hands. i'm currently in the process of building a 7,000 square foot Lego replica of Brad's Brass Flamingo in my back yard.. don't ask. now; to cover the game.. we're f*cked. penix is injured, tuttle throws the ball like he's got christmas ornaments stuck in his rectum, and donavan mculley (my step-nephew eight times removed) hasn't seen the damn field yet. there's one way we win this football game.. one Rick-damn way.. toss me in the Crimson, Tom; it's BR time.. now, while i am 385 pounds, and in the physical shape of Bob Knight; Ricky can slang that f*cking ball. if i'm not in by the 3rd drive, start chanting for the Barrel.. Tom will not silence the Banner.. love ya'll, - Barrel Rick, 2021
  10. Barrel Rick

    Game Thread: 9/4 @ Iowa - 3:30 - BTN

    hey ya'll, just wanted to come on and give my thoughts on today's game.. we suck donkey shaft.. what the hell was Mike Penix doing last night before he layed his head to rest? thinking about the game? going over the playbook? no, the kid was playing Fortnite with my wife. is that seriously what you want from your quarterback? the kid looked like Kent Benson out there tonight. if StuHoo isn't under center next weekend, i will be challenging Tom Allen to a nude chilli-cookoff on the 30 yard line of Memorial Stadium; and we all know Ricky doesn't lose a nude chilli-cookoff. love ya'll - Barrel Rick, 2021
  11. Barrel Rick

    (2022) - CG Jalen Hood-Schifino to INDIANA

    hey ya'll, just wanted to come on and give my thoughts on the recent rumblings of a possible Jalen Ramsey acquisition.. i've watched some tape on the kid, and you know the Barrel always tells it like it is; this kid is sh*t.. no handle, no jumpshot, and by the looks of the women you may see on his Instagram stories; no kneehanger. personally, i believe that we should be showing more interest in a guy like Mike Rotch, an unranked forward out of The Technical Institute O' Northern Delaware A&M Taxidermy & Circus who just entered the portal.. i mean seriously, what good does it do us to recruit 5-star talent? what are we, Gonzaga? in the wise words of the late-great Brice Fox; this is Indiana.. we're losers, damn it! accept it, Woodson! (no disrespect Mike, i hope you and Terri are still aiming for 8 o'clock tomorrow at Texas Roadhouse.. mmhmm.. Ricky loves a bloomin' onion..) to put it in Rickman's terms; we need more Johnny Jager, and less Romeo Langford.. simple as that. p.s. StuHoo, we still on for 18 holes this weekend? love y'all.. - Barrel Rick, 2021
  12. Barrel Rick

    College Bball Thread

    hey ya'll. - Barrel Rick, 2021
  13. hey y’all, just wanted to come on and give my thoughts on the newest addition to the IUBB family; Miller “Lite” Kopp. from what i heard at my brunch with Coach Woodson this morning, the kid shoots it like fu*king Wally Szczerbiak.. we were in dire need of snipers, and Morning Wood delivered.. barrels off to him. as for Miller Lite, i’m predicting he comes in and wets that hoe at an 87% clip; and if he doesn’t, i’m gonna’ give his sister the Ricky Special. - Barrel Rick, 2021
  14. Barrel Rick

    Early Big Ten Projections (2021-2022)

    hey y’all, rickie checkin’ in. things have been pretty boring out here at my log home in the deep woods of bloomington. outside of my most recent emergency colonoscopy (no, my inflammatory bowel syndrome hasn’t returned; thankfully, but i did get a matchbox car stuck in my rectum.. don’t ask), i ain’t done nothin’ but sit around and think. upon high request, i’ve decided to make a tweeter account or however the hoot you spell it. the little app with the bird on it. @BarrelRick if you wanna’ give it a follow. things might get messy over there, so beware of the barrel.. love ya’ll. - Barrel Rick, 2021