Barrel Rick

hey ya'll, it's been quite some time, ain't it? to shortly explain my inactivity - as of March this year, my wife and i have gotten a divorce. to my surprise, a "girls trip" with she and her book club turned out to be a month-long getaway to a nudist reservation with Mike Woodson. our Brown County home is available on Zillow if anyone's in the market, and please continue to pray for my everlasting bowel syndrome. as for the Hoosiers this year; Wilkerson and DeVries make my little Rick tingle.. the yoppa on both of these young men sing melodies recognized only in the hushed lore of urban legend… BUT.. we have got to find a way to get that lanky motharicka from Davidson going down low.. 6'10; guy could probably jump rope with it. bow to me, i am the ******* Barrel. - Barrel Rick, 2025 sponsored by Daniel Z. Rhondes, Big Lots of Columbus, 716 Karate Dojo, and Stuhoo

Good evening friends and foes, I have just been informed of some inside information that of course, I came to share with the BTB family. With lots of chatter around Wilkerson and Darling, it seems Coach DeVries focus has turned toward a new face.. JoJo Fullwood; guard from the UNC Wilmington Seahawks.. Hailing from Pender High School, Fullwood can absolutely smack the penjamin. Coach DeVries tells me that JoJo's ability to hit the three ball just moments after consuming multiple grams of THC concentrates has brought an interest to the Hoosiers coaching staff like we've never seen before. During a Saturday visit this morning, DeVries and Fullwood came to a verbal commitment after sharing a 3.5 gram joint whilst listening to No Type by Rae Sremmurd. The new Indiana Hoosiers are beyond 420 friendly. After a promising season consisting of 3 total points on 18 total minutes, Fullwood is ready to make the blue blood jump. Fullwood, along with the rumored return of Johnny Jager are setting up the Hoosiers for a 6th national championship.. Bow to me, I am the Barrel. - Barrel Rick, 2025 sponsored by Hormel Chili, Belle Tire, Mike Morel, and DeBosemoy International Church of Scientology

Good evening all, I have some news to share with the BTB family.. With the recent news regarding Malik Reneau, it has been brought to my attention that Coach DeVries has a new target in mind to replace him at that forward position.. John-Paul Ricks, from the Prairie View A&M Panthers.. Now, your first thought could be one of two things; Barrel, the man is 6'2; he's no forward. Or secondly: Barrel, the man averaged 2.3 PPG in the SWAC this season; he sucks nuts. I will address both of those points.. After talking over a Raising Cane's Caniac Combo with Coach DeVries, he has given me some insight on his thought process here.. While Ricks stands only 6 feet 2 inches tall, Coach claims that after a private visit took place over the weekend, that John-Paul is quite southernly-blessed. Measurements reportedly show he possesses a shaft similar to a Jersey Mike's Chicken Bacon Ranch, which will clearly provide him with the strength to lock down even the most aggressive bigs in the conference. Yes, he did average 2 PPG this year, but the faith that Coach DeVries has in this young man leads me to believe that we may have our eyes on the second coming of Trayce Jackson-Davis. Thank you for your time; bow to me, I am the Barrel.. - Barrel Rick, 2025 sponsored by Hormel Chili, Belle Tire, Uncle Tiffany's Sporting Goods of Lebanon, and Stuhoo

.. stand by

Not happening unfortunately.

Good evening to all, I assume most of you have been anxiously anticipating my reaction to the hiring of our new coach; Darian DeVries. As you may know, my relationship with Coach Woodson was very strong. He's a great friend of mine. With that being said, I do believe that over the last four years, we witnessed the worst basketball coach in the history of the game.. I love Mike, he's a great man, and his wife makes a frighteningly tasty pot pie; but I can not lie to you all, and that is not what I will do. As for our new coach, DeVries was not my first choice. Archie Miller was, and is the answer. I liked a few candidates.. Andrew Toole from Robert Morris University, Darris Nichols from La Salle University, Brette Tanner from Abilene Christian University, and Doug Gottlieb from the University of Green Bay Phoenix were absolutely scorching at the top of my hot board. The night before the hire was announced, Jeff Rabjohns snuck down the chimney of my Bloomington log cabin home, sh*t in my bed, and I was awoken to his cold hands moisturizing my torso with sugar-free honey. He whispered into the darkness of my bedroom; "Archie's coming home, Ricky.." So to say this hire surprised me, is an unbelievable understatement. Bring back Jordan Geronimo, and my negativity will flee. Bow to me, I am the Barrel. - Barrel Rick, 2025 sponsored by Hormel Chili, Belle Tire, Greenfield Power & Light, and Uncle Michelle's Bait & Tackle of Martinsville

What happens in NOLA stays dormant.. May you live forever, Stewart.

Thank you.

Good evening all,' It's been quite some time.. As I've garnered some recent inside information, I wanted to share the knowledge with the BTB family. As most of you know, I've held a close relationship with Coach Woodson over the last 4 years; be it our Saturday iHop visits, golfing, and sharing coacoa at my log cabin residence.. it pains me to see him go.. With that being said, he has let me in on the likely candidates for the position. From the words of Scott Dolson, "Archie Miller is the answer." Dolson doesn't believe we gave Miller the time that he needed to bring this program back to glory, and believes that Scott Drew's recent testacle surgery would make him a liability. While I do believe that Archie has this job locked up, my personal co-sign for the job goes to Andrew Toole, head coach of the Robert Morris University Colonials. Has he shown success? No. Does he have any type of proven track record? No, he doesn't. What he does have, is an absolute smokeshow of a wife; I mean an absolute rocket, which leads me to believe that Toole has a shaft like a Subway Cold Cut.. This is the type of energy we need to see within this program.. Do we truly believe Coach Knight wasn't packing an absolute lantern between his limbs? Bow to me, I am the Barrel. - Barrel Rick, 2025 sponsored by Hormel Chili, Belle Tire, Edwards Electrical & Mechanical, and St. Alec's Church of the Nazarene

can’t say too much; will say that Braylon would have committed several months ago under different coaching but still gave things time to change because he dreamed of playing here.

more like IMG_1713.webp

mullins to uconn. sorry ya’ll.

Likes the facilities, too far from home for his liking; not happening.

I have very good news.

Not saying this affects anything, but can say as of today, Kentucky has offered the biggest NIL in this race by a rather wide margin.

Contrary to UltimateMullinsInsider71's beliefs, you have nothing to worry about.

I didn’t plan on breaking this now, but I’m not going to allow misinformation here.

Well considering I’m a Mullins, I think I can confidently say you’re wrong.

It would be a little different if his post had a little bit of validity, but whatever conversation he had that led him to believe those things either happened in a dream, or under extreme intoxication.

Since everyone would like to fabricate their own stories; allow me to set things straight. The narrative that Mullins isn’t a fan of Woodson couldn’t be the furthest thing from the truth. It’s been known publicly since the beginning of this recruitment that Coach Walsh is the primary contact here; Cd71 has clearly taken the opportunity to twist that into you all believing that he has some sort of inside information. That is not the case. Sorry to expose that here Mr. 71, but as you read what I have written here; you too are wondering why you took the time to write that meaningless post. Now, with that being said, allow me to fill you all in on what is actually happening here. If you’ve been following this recruitment, you know that there’s been a lot of talk of Woodson focusing in on the 3 of Mullins, Sisley and Moreno. As I’ve stated in previous posts, I’ve felt pretty confidently about his ability to make it happen. Mullins hasn’t moved an inch. With that being said, and based off of what I’ve heard; I believe that Sisley and Moreno comes down to the result of the OV that they all have coming up. Moreno is undoubtedly the most on the fence, and I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if he ends up in Lexington. As of now, I would be rather surprised if Sisley goes elsewhere. Haralson isn’t happening.

This information is made up.

No correlation at all.

I do not believe Haralson will wind up in Bloomington.